not good enuff, yes?

  That I love being a woman is a sure understatement. Well, no offense meant to the male kind but I believe that nothing could be better than being a woman.

Still, I guess we could scoot over and coddle the male Neanderthals a tiny bit of legroom. They are, after all, needed. I mean, we do require them if we want to enlarge our kind, right? We can at least give them credit for that, though most of the good stuff comes from us. Now men, before you flare up and go mulling over our demise, let me first finish- then you can go fight over my carcass. Truth be told, there really is no telling as to who’s better at what and who’s stronger with what but for competition’s sake, I’d like to think that we are actually better. I mean, it’s like rooting for your team no matter how dismal or heart-breaking your score is in the game. You still go, “We’re still the best no matter what that stinkin’ scoreboard says!”  Pathetic, I know. Yet that’s how it is. The men go, “Women are so unpredictable! First, they say one thing and then go wailing about it the next!” It’s like I’m psychic and I read your minds, right, guys? If you thought that was funny, let’s see how you fare from the women’s POV. I think It goes something like this, “Men are so stupid! Stupid enough to not realize you’re throwing yourself at them! Ignorant pigs.” There. That’s how feverishly amusing it all sounds.

I guess the thing is, men & women just do not get along and understand each other on some certain things. Lucky if Barbie is riding in a Hot Wheels car then guys and gals would be on the same page but apart from that, they are both basically dumbfounded by the other gender. Most of the time, men do not enjoy what women do and of course, vice-versa. Women would rather go shopping inside an air-conditioned mall rather than watch a football game under the scorching heat of the sun. Men would want to watch a bloody, war movie rather than sit through a cheesy, mushy love story inside the movie theater. Women would instantly giggle and swoon at the very sight of a bouquet of roses on her birthday but men would just smile politely and give a subtle you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me look. What a guy really wants for his birthday, of course, is the new X-box game consul. Right, men?

Why do women go to the bathroom in hordes? Why do men play video games all day? Why do women buy more that 50 pairs of shoes when they’ve only got a pair of feet? Why don’t men shave their legs and armpits? Why does it take a woman an hour or two to pick out a dress of the same style only of different colors? Why do men rarely ever cry?

These questions are all arduous to think about and it would require painstaking work and analytical research if ever we want to figure them all out. Well, to save all of you the trouble, I will (no, not answer these questions) give you an advice. Stop fussing over these trivial questions! You read that right. Trivial. It doesn’t mean all that much because men need women and women need men as well. So, I think all this yuk-yuk about men being insensitive and a woman being vain is totally irrelevant. We all need each other, right? We’ve only got each other to live with so as aggravated as you are with the other gender and the queries that go with it, I’m sure you think that a lady’s jugs and a man’s abs is a thing of beauty so quit complaining.

AYAYAY!!!

What have I been doing this week? I’ll tell you. No, really. I will. I must. No, listen. sit. SHATTUP.

February 11, 2007- Monday. We didn’t have class because it’s Emilio Javier Day & obviously, it’s a holiday for us Ilonggos. Just when I thought I’d be free the whole day- here comes the activities, skipping along wearing its little red poofy dress looking at me with its smug face saying “HA! IN UR FACE!”  wtvr. So, I had my dress appointment that day. I chose Eric Delos Santos to make my prom gown. Mom trusts him very much & I like him, too. He’s so nice & gay. heehee. Plus, he reminds me of Toto. :)) Anyway, he had this awesome idea for my dress. The color is a clash between magenta & midnight blue. The halter idea is from me bcos well, yeah. I aint gots no merchandise up there so… shattup. Our theme is Night in Paris (im part of the committee! yeeh. chosen ones.) and so, I needed to be chic. He’s making me gloves & a clutch. Fantastique!

In the afternoon, I still had to go to school to practice for our Inter-school play competition. Our section’s play, Twilight Home, was chosen to represent the school. For the beri pers time! Quite proud of it, in fact. We had our critiquing in the afternoon & although we only had about 2 hours of practice, we pulled it off & got awesome feedbacks. SOMETHING DIFFERENT & DEEP KNU! ay ilam. Nosebleed*. The final play presentation is going to be on the 12th. yeah, the next day. yot.

February 12, 2007- THE PLAY. I was sick. Still, I needed to perform because Im part of the main cast. There were only 6 main cast memebers so, yeah. haha. Students from other schools watched & I think when a theater musical director says, “This play should be performed on Broadway” without any hint of sarcasm, that’s when you know you’ve succeeded. And yes, we did SUCCEED. Also, Another critic said, “You speak english very fluently. Are you all from the states? HAHAHA! But seriously, it was impeccable.”  OOOH. FLATTERING. VERY FLATTERING INDEED-O. ;))
Kung sa isa ka San-Ag student pa, “Grabe mn English niu ba. Nosebleed na ni!”

February 13, 2007- INTEGRATION DAY 1. We didn’t do much except present our Thesis projects at the St. Anne’s Hall. Booooring. The great part is when we went to San-Ag to watch their play. It’s our turn to sit back & relax. After the play, all we could muster to say & comment in front of them was, “Congratulations. It was great.” GREAT. For us, that is. Their play production was either pathetic or we just expected too much. Etiherway, it sucked. The whole plot of the play is too ridiculous for words(its not even an original prod) and their english was so, ERRR. You’ll really know the difference between a scripted type of english and the normal kind. Theirs is the too-scripted-it’s-not-normal-anymore type. Cricket sounds were buzzing in my head whenever they told a joke. A friend texted, “SHOOT ME. JUST SHOOT ME NOW.” I’d be glad to do it for her- if she did the same fer me. I was so full of it. I could burst out any minute & scream, “THAT’S IT?! THAT’S YOUR FRIGGIN’ PLAY?! YOU MUST BE KIDDING!” They were not. that was their play. Pffft. Some teen theater you are. Still, we just tried to be nice & when they asked from a comment from our director, Apol said, “IT WAS GREAT!”  (Chyeah, right.)

FEBRUARY 14, 2007- BALENTONG. Huo gd. Waay mn kmi lablayps te, waay pulos ang adlaw nga ni. Hahaha! Pti ah. I really enjoyed the day because we CAT officers were assigned to watch over the preschool kids because it’s also Teacher’s day & they needed a break. Im tellin’ ya, kids can look like angels but they’re leetol gremlins just waiting to pounce! Still, I enjoyed playing with them! They were chasing me, playing tag & wrestling with me & even if they were pulling my necklace so hard I could choke, I couldn’t get mad. THEY WERE JUST SOOOOOO CUTE! yot. I got a rose from an anonymous person but I don’t think I want to find out who that person is. Chenkyouberimats nlg. haha! In the afternoon, me & my barkada ordered food from Sbarro & just ate in school & afterwhich, we played Goal. Muna bsta waay ka lablayp, sabog.  

FEBRUARY 15, 2007- AKLAN FIELD TRIP. THE 4-HOUR BUS RIDE really tested out insanity. We were all just singing ang laughing even if there was nothing funny at all. Food was everywhere. We were armed & loaded with food. Carbonara, Ampao, Fish Crackers and even Balut & Penoy were all over the place. Ga baho ang bus mu. Haha! May nagsuka pa te, party nagd eh! HAHAHA! We left school at around 6:30 and arrived at the ecopark at 11:00. We then headed off to Sampaguita Gardens for lunch. Left Aklan at around 3:30 & arrived at Assumption at around 7:45. It was one helluva day. Me & my close friends were at the very last part of the bus and so, we were really enjoying ourselves. Gatindog kmi ni Gagay when suddenly, the bus stopped. Te, nag Superman gd kmi nga duwa diretso sa salug sg bus. HAHAHA! oh, memories. Oks lg na. 😉 Naubusan ku digicam battery & cellphone battery. yot. cge lg ah. It was all good!  

SENIORS RACK!!!! bow.

PAPERWEIGHT ON LIFE

                                                   

Warning: This is another rant&ramble. Supposed to sumbit is to our school paper but I decided not to. haha. It’s crap. I dont think it’s worth sending to the school paper anymway so cge lg ah. mhmu lg ku lwat. :]

DARE TO LIVE  

You know what is bothering me so much right now? Aside from the cars that are passing to and fro outside our house because of the Cockfight Competition that’s going on, I am currently being annoyed by how fast we’re living our lives right now. I mean, just look at this pace we’re going! Everybody’s walking, no, brisking out in the streets trying to get to somewhere important- or so they think it’s important..  Bah. It’s probably just a dental check-up or a trip to the mall. Okay, maybe it could be urgent but it’s no reason for you to bump people and have the guts to look at them from head to toe like its their fault you were caught up and wasted 2 seconds of your day. Yeah, I think you have probably figured out why I am in such a pissed mood. That’s also the reason why I am writing this blog entry. 

Lemme ask you something. Whatever happened to the good old days? Where people didn’t have Playstations and just went outside every afternoon, run around the subdivision with your playmates playing tag or when kids use their pillows, pillowcases & blankets to make-believe and play house with their siblings. When we would buy Bazooka bubble gums just so we could read the comic strip or figure out the trick hidden inside, buy cheese curls from a nearby tiangge just to get the free toy that comes with it. Where did all that go? You don’t know? Well, I’m pretty much as stumped as you are. But what I do know is that nowadays, we just resign ourselves to sit in front of the television set while munching on Potato Chips that I’m sure is full of MSG. If not that, we go partying all the time thinking that it’s the right way to live. Hey, at least I get out of the house, right? Hah. No, darling. Hey, I bet that most of us don’t even remember how the wind feels as it brushes our face whenever you go bike-riding. Well, except for those who don’t know how to ride a bike. Hey, come to think of it. That’s another thing you’re missing- not knowing how to ride a bike. It’s one of life’s simple pleasures. And it’s not even the act of bike-riding that I enjoy most. It’s how my father helped me get back up and gave me encouraging words every time I fell & when my mom would gently heal my bruises from my bad falls. Yes, that’s what mattered most to me. The rest just follows. I learn to ride the bike & I soon learn to balance myself. It’s all a skill. 

 I know I would be a hypocrite if I said that I don’t enjoy the wonders of the modern world. You’d say, “That is so last century. What’s technology here for if we just go out and bike-ride all the time then, eh? Get with the times!” Before you go accusing me of hypocrisy, let me tell you something. Just like you, I said those words (in my mind) before, too. I could just hole myself up inside my room all day and just enjoy the wonders of my laptop. But the thing is, my laptop isn’t the only thing that matters in this world. You could watch every stinkin’ video there is on Youtube and it still wont be relevant in the real world. Well, It wouldn’t be entirely useless because there is knowledge that can be gained but it is not the most essential thing in this world, because in the real world, experience is the best teacher. You won’t get to say you’re living until you actually do.  

What do I mean by that? What I indicate to say is that you are not living until you get to experience life’s little wonders. Crossing the street all by yourself for the first time, riding the jeepney not knowing where to go but you just go with it anyway are examples of life’s small surprises. You’ll never know how good it feels until you’re actually there. Believe me, I know. My dad has always been urging me to do things on my own and just dare to do stuff. Dare. Yes, that’s what he wants me to do all the time. I won’t get to conquer the world in the future if I’m afraid of my own frickin’ shadow. How will I get to live on my own in Manila for College if I can’t even enter a store and buy something without somebody accompanying me? How can I travel the streets of Hongkong if I don’t know how to read signs and ask a stranger for directions even if he doesn’t speak English well? I can’t do all that if I don’t dare to. 

 Those are just some of the few things my dad wants me to learn. You can never experience everything in your whole human existence but try to learn & experience as much as you can. It’s a big world out there. With so much knowledge and surprises in store for us out there, even Renaldo Lapuz’s American Idol audition isn’t worth all that. I myself am trying to creep away from my room once in a while trying to feel how it is to exist once more. And you know what? It’s such a great feeling. So, come on. Let’s go. Let’s dare- dare to Live.

NOSTALALALA.

Do you know how I’m feeling right now?  Pretty lousy, to be perfectly honest. I know I should be somewhat happy right now considering the fact that I just got through with my micro-teaching stint whereas everyone else is just about to start and I have also done my thesis project which surprisingly got good critic remarks. So, why am I feeling down right now? Well, it’s partly, no, scratch that. It’s fully my fault because I keep on entertaining these goddamn thoughts- these disturbing thoughts that never fail to enter my mind every three to four hours. I must be nuts.Not following me, huh? Okay. I’ll let you in on it.   

Nostalgia. That’s it. That’s the word I’m looking for.Feeling it everywhere I turn in that friggin’ school. Started feeling it around early January actually. I hate that feeling. It makes me want to puke & throw the brown bag to whoever I chance upon to meet. All the seniors right now are bringing the subject up whenever they can, and it doesn’t help that they count down the days you’ve got left in school. It’s making me feel more depressed than ever. Yot. And because of it, I have done a lot of pretty impulsive & downright cheezy things lately. Some nights back, I was in my room just staring at the corkboard my friends gave me which is full of photos of us just doing random stuff & being our normal gay selves, just last night I read all of my palancas again (I didn’t cry. held back them tears) & everyday when I take a bath, I play the song In my life by the Beatles in my cellphone. Talk about being ridiculous or yes, pathetic. Yeah, those are pretty pathetic. I know, so shattup.  

Guess I’m jes feeling a bit sad bout leaving Assumption. yeah, yeah.

you’ll say that you heard that before but, hey. whoever told you to read this blog entry anyhows? ! gahd. Oh, oopsie. Jes PMS-ing. hee.

Anyhoo, all of us are a bit nostalgic, actually. Fraulein Claudine hates it when the subject of Graduation & College is brought up but hey, we gots to face it. It will come.Sad… mad… scared. Mix ‘em all together & I know it isn’t exactly the best of both worlds. God, I hate Hannah Montana. Sorry, babe. Just not into your whole… ugh. I’m blabbering. I’m not even making any sense anymore. Pootah. 

I cant look, it’s killing me- and taking control.